Resisting old habits during quarantine
This time right now is unknown, it’s unsettling, it’s scary, and it’s stressful. I am trying my best to be mindful of the coping mechanisms I am turning to. When my eating rules/restrictions and obsessive workouts were at an all-time high was when my life felt the most out of control. I turned to these coping mechanisms as a way to gain back control, to calm my anxieties and worries and feel like I had at least some part of my life together. As helpful as coping mechanisms can be, sometimes they end up doing more harm than good. I used to tell myself well I am doing healthy things so that can’t be bad. I would justify the things I was doing to cope because they were considered to be “healthy”.
I have come a long way since that time but over the years old thought patterns and actions have popped their heads up, usually a time during great stress and when things were outside of my control. The last time this happened was during wedding planning. There were so many moving pieces, so many decisions to make and so many opinions from other people. Things that I wanted couldn’t be done and things I didn’t want had to be done and so I turned to control in the way that I knew best.
Right now, is another time of anxiety, worry, and uncertainty. We don’t know for sure how long these shelter at home orders will stay in place or how long this virus is going to continue to thrive. We don’t know when we will be able to hug our family members and friends or when we can go out to our favorite restaurant on a sunny day. This type of uncontrolled and unknown life is a trigger for me. I don’t do well without structure and routine; it is something that I crave. Right now, my routine and structure is so off and I have noticed old habits starting to creep back in. I have to give myself credit for noticing so early on and net letting these old habits form roots. I found myself feeling guilty about snacking all day and I started to tell myself okay well you can do two home workouts tomorrow. I have worked so hard to not have those thoughts and I am not about to let them come creeping back. For now, this is our new normal so how can we adjust?
What I have been doing is structuring out a new normal, a new routine that can ease some of the uncertainty and anxiety. I am keeping my structured sleep schedule, waking up at 6 am, drinking water, writing in my journal and getting in movement. I am making myself and Derek breakfast as I normally would and doing things around the house like laundry and cleaning. With my school on a break and not being able to connect with friends, I am finding gaps in the day where I start to feel vulnerable. This is where I am adding in a new normal. I am filling that time facetiming with friends, taking walks in the neighborhood, reading books, and sometimes just scrolling through IG connecting with people online. I am giving myself permission to do what feels right in the moment, to watch a show if that’s calling or bake if that feels good. The main thing I am focusing on is not forcing anything. I might have these thoughts that I need to be super productive and creative but that is not how I have been feeling recently. In the past that would get me down, it would push me back to old coping mechanisms but along my journey I have learned to be kinder to myself.
This is the time that it is especially important to be kind to ourselves. This is something we have never experienced before; these are strange and new feelings and experiences. We have to be extra kind to ourselves and truly do what we feel deep down is best for us. If I want to snack all day that is okay and I don’t need to “make up for it” with grueling home workouts.
Here are some tips/tricks that maybe can help you if you are feeling old habits creeping in.
1. Take time in the morning to journal, write down anything that comes to mind it doesn’t even need to make sense
2. Write a gratitude list, especially in times where it is hard to feel grateful
3. Take five minutes to just sit and breathe, simple as that
4. Binge a new show, it’s okay to take it easy
5. Set up a virtual coffee date or happy hour
6. Start a virtual book club
7. Walks in the neighborhood
8. Stretching
Don’t forget you can always reach out, especially if you are in the same boat and feeling old thoughts and tendencies creeping in. Now more than ever we need to support each other.
